How are you doing? I'm fine is what I hear most, but truly... is anyone out there fine?
Are you fine?
Fine would be good, but I know now that fine is pretty average, a flat liner, a bit blah if you ask me. I know this because I have been "fine" for a while and I am tired of being fine.
I'm ready to be great or more than great, fabulous!
So I ask you, when someone asks me how I am doing, which happens a lot when you recently became a widow, the answer I use frequently is I'm ok, fine... how about you?
I find the easy answer is often a shield, do we really bleed all over someone's morning greeting?
And I can see why we don't openly share with everyone that asks, but holding the not so fine inside isn't helping you... it is actually poisoning your soul.
Go figure, it is worse than we ever imagined and as a widow the , she died of a broken heart is actually a thing! YUP! If you look it up it is actually a syndrome because grief contains all of life's top stressors combined and that is a nasty cocktail.
The result left unchecked moves into physiological despair and that left unhealed, imagine it shifting into the physical and people actually can die of a broken heart.
I often become aware of anxiety inside my body, so uncomfortable. Because I am aware of anxiety, I notice it and do something about it immediately. I take the time to rn a process to shift the energy of anxiety, grief from my body.
Pretty much everyone requires me to begin by drawing my attention towards my breath. Why this is a great beginning is because I am focusing my mind on something, tuning into those sensations within my body and I begin intentionally to slow my breath down.
Ultimately I would aim for 5-5-7 breathing
Why? 5-5-7 breath is slow, 5 seconds on the inhale, hold for 5 and exhale through mouth slows the breath and changes the brain wave I am in.
Two things happen: The brain registers that I am not running away from a rabid dog and sends signals to the pituitary gland to release stress relieving chemicals and hormones into my blood stream.
This relaxes my system. I turn my focus to the sensation of anxiety within my body. I intentionally bi-pass my resistant neo cortex, visualize the sensorial understanding of anxiety.
Why? Two reasons.
2. Your brain understands and experiences your world through sensory data. What you
A. See: shapes, colors, dark, light, size, borders,
B. Hear: buzz, beats, hum, vibrations, thump etc.
C. Taste: sweet, sour, bitter etc.
D. Smell: musky, citrus, sweet, cadaverous etc.
E. Feel: tight, heavy, vibration, movement, squeezed etc.
Also the neocortex is the watchdog and way slower. Uncensored sensory information enters the subconscious brain at incredible speed, then it moves through our personalized filters. But the experience is stored as sensory information within the subconscious.
So if I want to remove stress from my system, I bi-pass the neocortex and the linguistic label it had provided and go to the root, located and stored within the subconscious mind.
My intention is to seek my subconscious brains understanding of stress and then I can release it in three ways
1. Shift three components. Example: Change the color, shape and direction of movement
2. Adopt gratitude, which shifts the energy into the positive
3. Continue to focus into the anxiety visualization, moving your focus from a birds eye view, to and electron flying around it, to becoming one of an atom, and then a quark. Continually maintaining your focus and breath, while moving inward and watch the energy dissolve into nothingness
In the end, we now recognize that emotions are simply trapped energy, and we can change that through simple, natural and easy neuroscience processes.
There are many natural and easy ways to shift the energy of how we feel and that turns on our FABULOUS
