I was unaware that PTG (post traumatic growth) existed, but through a unusual life experience, I was about to become intimately aware that a powerful internal resilience mechanism was being activated.

What I thought I knew then... was nothing like what I know now... I have to say, even though the carefree days of youth have passed, the freedom I experience and live now, is even better. But that growth and freedom arose through 2 things. PTG, which is natural, and my intentional desire to heal.

Drowning in a capsized plane was truly a turning point for self discover, I broke the surface of that river with deep curiosity to understand not only how my brain performed an incredible task as I was dying. But, even more, my experience was expansive, belief altering and profound: I felt changed, so why did I survived... was there a deeper meaning at play..

My experience of being trapped inside a water-filled plane didn't scar me for life, truthfully it made me grateful for life, beauty, love. Possibly small planes are not my favorite but I would never let fear stop me from an adventure, so rather than a life scar, I accepted this life lesson. That choice exists even in life's most dire moments.

Fast forward 30 years and Willis was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer. and this time there didn't seem to be many choices, and then he died.

Looking back there were so many choices that created, what I call, "The year worth dying for". Yes, on the blackest days, there was eternal love, an unwavering commitment to live every moment, to honesty and truth, to acceptance, forgiveness and mostly to resilience. 

The post death experience was unfathomable, everything I thought it would be, proved wrong... it was far worse than I ever could have imagined, traumatic, deafeningly sad, a primal profound loss. 

I felt shattered for a period of time... but now I am stronger, wiser, more compassionate, truer to myself and my dreams, I have transformed through the experience. I feel I am more open to life, to love, to myself, and truly leaning into wonder and dreams. I believe that through grief, I became a better version of myself in every way. 

What I used to call rocket fuel, I now know is POST TRAUMATIC GROWTH

Post-traumatic growth refers to the positive psychological changes that can occur as a result of struggling with and overcoming adversity. It involves finding new strengths, deeper meaning, and personal growth in the aftermath of trauma or challenging life events. It's a thing, and it gives us hope.

PTG provided me with a purpose, the desire to help others thrive grief and trauma. I have now helped hundreds of widows and trauma survivors thrive.

But, still I notice that so many chose to struggle alone, prolonging the pain, struggle, and triggers of trauma, by not reaching out for proven life skills available for overcoming emotional pain.

I certainly did not recover on my own, it took intention, learning, teachers, S.P.I.R.E and the doing, plus a loving caring community: 

One lovely soul; Anita Adams entered my life. One sunny August day, two strangers in kayaks took refuge on my shore. As my curiosity took me towards them, I felt that something serendipitous was about to happen, a chance meeting or was it a soul encounter... Anita and I, strangers were about to become friends.

If you know Anita, you will understand her inner beauty, adventurous spirit and deep desire to inspire and help others. And, she is about to launch her first book and so I wanted to support and share it with you here, because I know it will inspire you. Our meeting of souls is inside... 

so lean in here:  https://joyfulinspiredliving.com/books

I continue to be inspired and supported by amazing people like Anita.

Spring forward into year two of widowhood, I am spreading my wings and pollenating dreams. It began with a trip to Africa, an inspirational journey, of salt roads, vast grasslands and incredible wildlife: But for me it was a journey of me stepping out from my comfort zone and into a bigger life. It stretched me.

I already knew that stretching ones comfort levels builds resilience, and I felt alive with adventure!

I chose to travel with the lovely Barbara Edie: Soul Magic Adventures - Barbara Edie and it was epic. Reach out to Barb if Africa is on your bucket list!

Witnessing this lioness approach without fear was a highlight.

Africa was followed by Portugal, a real delight and definitely I will return to explore other areas of this wonderful country.

Then December brought Florida fun. I stayed with friends over the holidays and New Years, still not ready to face those occasions alone, and so I made a choice, to head into the sun and fun zone of friends. <3 And it was a joyful experience or food, pickleball, shuffleboard, beach walks, sidewalk cafes and amazing friends new and old.

HAPPINESS ALERT: I'm sure you know so I don't have to tell you, but spending quality time with people you care about and who care about you is the #1 happiness builder. These are relationships that energize and fuel well-being, but they also make us live longer!!!

But travel did not happen in the early days of widowhood. 

I recall my first overnight away from home with that nagging feeling of regret, I'd left something very important behind... I cried myself to sleep. And that uneasy energy persisted with my my first return to Mexico later that year. 

I know now that this uncomfortableness is normal for widowhood, not just internal discomfort but a nervousness to travel alone... but once again, I made a choice, I love to travel, and so I took fear by the horns and booked my flight, and then found myself enjoying myself, I was meeting new people and having new experiences, or the same old ones, but in a new way! 

Happiness was returning to my heart.

I extended this years getaway, two years in and I was ready to lean in, and I had even more fun. I had learned to play pickleball at the beginning of last summer and I have to admit, I am a bit hooked! 

Friends played a few tournaments through the summer and that was a blast too. Won a few metals!! The hook is really hooked now haha!

And now I know you can play all across North America. And so this trip to Mexico provided more social outings, meetups, more budding friendships and a whole lot of fun exercise

I guess what I'm really saying is life is fabulous! I feel myself again, more than ever. I am thriving and I want to share the secrets of what I learned to heal one of life's deepest wounds. 

It is truly possible <3

And so I am going to share a few ways to lean into healing, from life and death... here's one such offer, if you if you or someone you know is struggling: 4 Day Healing Grief & Whispering Waves Renewal Retreat in Canada (bookretreats.com)

And yes, to answer some of your questions, all grief and trauma is welcome. Grief takes so many forms and arises from so many life experiences. This safe and supportive retreat will offer relief from your loss and pain <3

Because of the many requests to ease life's trauma, I have created "THE BRIDGE" and this retreat promises to focus on many life challenges. The ones that have left scars and interfere with choices, security, happiness, love and dreams. Link is coming soon....

And the travel!! Look forward to destination retreats in locations such as Home | Mixto Villa to soothe the soul and rekindle and ignite a new dream.

So, watch for this amazing journey to launch, because I believe that struggling is never the answer. I know that choice is available even in life's most dire circumstances, and the choice to thrive is here....

I'm so thrilled to step up into my purpose and I thank-you for taking the time to lean in. Sending you lots of love, strength, a deep breath if you are hurting and most of all, I offer you hope, and the ability to imagine a happier and fulfilling life

Stay well,

Adele

https://www.lifecoachadele.com