A Metaphor speaks directly to our subconscious mind.

What does a metaphor about a door have to do with our Psyche?

Psychology states that a metaphor can speak directly to our subconscious mind. If we want to change the inner workings of our subconscious mind, then a metaphor can be an important part of the solution.

Why a metaphor? Our minds love stories. Using a door as a metaphor can also be a way for us to create a every day story that can help us understand a bit about our mind.

Metaphor: Not really true or realistic. Used to describe a circumstance.

Example: "That nearly killed me! Really? Not really, only metaphorically.

What it is not: Literal

Why use a door as a Metaphor?

Because a door has certain common easily known characteristics that we all understand.

• A door is hard
• Closes off a room.
• Keeps our houses safe.
• Provide a barrier
• A door may keep the room inside invisible
• We can't see through it, but maybe we can hear/ impairs communication
• Open door policy/ closed door policy
• It can have a lock
• Feeling resistance, stuck or fearful
• Notice the inner voice that says "I can't"
• Recognize when personal freedoms are interfered with

Why are metaphors used in Psychology?

Psychologists understand that the subconscious mind loves metaphors. Loves stories. Metaphors create stories.

In psychology, a door could represent something we do not want to look at, something that may be hidden. Mental emotional trauma, emotional baggage or outdated beliefs could all be related to as a something hidden behind a door.

Whatever we chose a metaphor, we could consider what unpleasant can be locked behind a "metaphoric door". A negative experience that has bothered us enough that our minds created a memory of it.

Why is that? Because our brains must process every thought. Our brains tries to make sense of the thought, to understand it, or at least try to. The thought must be analyzed for sensations, feelings, emotion, similarity to past experience. Then categorized and filed either in our short or long term memory

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Why do these old negative memories still affect us today? Each time we think about this negative experience, or have an experience that brings up similar emotions; we re-enforce the memory. If we think of our memory as a road map and every time we think about the negative experience is like paving the road, which makes it easier to travel every time. It become solidly cemented into our minds.

Why does our brain create a road map?

It is our Limbic brains job to give today's emotional experience a quick understanding. It does this by linking similar emotions and feelings of today's experience with yesterdays experiences. Why? So our Limbic brain can make a quick decision. "Is today's experience safe or is it not."

The Limbic brain served a great purpose 2000 years ago, when danger lurked outside our cave.

The problem is, today's world is so much more complex. The Limbic brain links similar emotions but makes mistakes. 80% of the time, the "Limbic" brain is wrong... and we react like there is danger outside our cave.

Why does the Limbic Brain make mistakes?

Consider that a painful experience and the resulting thoughts that rage in our mind is like a "hurricane". We understand that hurricanes can be dangerous and danger means stress.

If a painful experience or trauma is stressful, the Limbic brain links to memories of stress. The Reptilian brain links stress and fear.

What represents stress in our life?

Emotional baggage or in extreme cases, P.S.T.D.

And so what does our brain do? It does the best it can, it gives us it's best decision of how to survive. And if that means we find it too painful to deal with now? Then we don't deal with it. We tell our brain, not to find a solutions for this, don't do anything. And so the brain "locks in away".

The truth is, it is never truly locked away. We now understand that emotional distress can affect ones life for a life time... if we let it.

How do we see it in people's lives? We look at addiction, patterns of abuse. There are all kinds of ways for us to try to stop the pain. We "suppress it", " numb it, drink it away, dope it away, do anything to ignore it".

And in the end? All a futile attempts.

Many of us known the futility in our actions. When we ignore trauma, the pain never goes away, because the healing process has never been addressed. The trauma, in essence remains locked behind a door, within our mind.

Let's think of our metaphor in a broader sense.

Imagine we each have a house that is our mind. This house is always growing and developing.

When we look a the house within our mind, we will notice there are many rooms. We can see that each room represents some experience or life event.

Each room is very personal. We notice differences in each room. Ranges of tone and color, whispers, or music. We can inhale the scent of each room. Each room feels unique.

Looking deeper, we glimpse into bright cheerful rooms, relaxed with fresh air. There are other rooms we quickly walk past. They have dark doors, some have door knobs, some do not. Other rooms where doors hang haphazardly from their hinges. Some rooms have doors, nailed shut but awful odors still leak under the threshold.

These are the doors that feel ominous. We keep far away from these doors as if we could ignore them.

But facts are, we can't. We built this room, We built this door. We know what is inside and we fear it.

What is this FEAR thing... Why is it so potent?

And then we realize. If we built this room and built this door. We CAN TEAR IT DOWN! We are in charge here, not fear.

So why does it matter? Because it does, living in fear is unhealthy.

The way we think about our house, about each room that we have built, becomes a direct reflection of our mental, emotional and physical health.

If it is so bad for us, why can't we just forget? It kinda like sweeping dirt under the rug, or throwing things in the junk drawer. It's not really forgetting it cluttering.

We wouldn't have a very good mind if we could forget! Our minds are magnificent!

Olfactory example: Close your eyes and recall the delicious aroma of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies. (Did you just take a deep breathe through your nose?) Quite possibly we took a deep breathe in because our sense of smell engaged with the memory of freshly baked cookies and instantly opened this doorway in our mind. Our senses remember the smell and all the good memories that come with cookies! We instantly feel good.

If it is a pleasant experience. Like the smell of home baked goodies, all is well.

So that explains how feelings of stress can instantly open doorways where a painful experience has been locked behind.

Stress is like a giant "key" It unlocks almost every door where a stressful situation has been locked away. And when our stress opens a door, we are given no time to think it through. Typically we react badly, greatly magnified, possibly disproportionate from our current experience.

And many know reactions can have devastating consequence in many situations.

Magnified reactions can result in a loss of a job, relationship or a friend. Our reactions often hurt us and other around us, again and again.

So what's the solutions? Here are 3.

1. Housekeeping services!

Let's clean up our house and take back our lives!

How? Lets consider a metaphor of housekeeping. Every week we take time to wash our cloths, change the linen on our bed, vacuum, sweep, mow the lawn; what ever it takes to make our home feel cared for and loved. A clean house feels good.

Or before shopping for groceries, it is great to make room by cleaning the fridge of old food. Out with the old in with the new nurturing food.

So what's so different about cleaning up our minds?

A little perception shift makes mental housekeeping as normal and necessary as taking out the trash. Some jobs are easier than others, some require a renovation!

Removing trauma can be likened to remodeling a house. We can do a little renovation, one room at a time or we can take it back to the frame and begin fresh!

We may want to protect and expand rooms that are full of pleasure, make more room by getting rid of the clutter. Some may be removed all together.

In order to renovate, typically you need a plan. A good plan and the right tools. If you've never renovated, maybe hire someone that knows what they are doing.

Some support helps. You direct, but someone takes the debris away or helps you build a new room.

With any renovations, whether it's one room or the entire house. Sooner or later that door needs to be broken down, the walls removed, the carpet thrown out. Whatever it takes, but it needs to go.

De-construction complete! Construction begins. Consider changing the shape of the room all together.  Add a window or two that opens so natural light and fresh air can enter.

Plan how this renovated space can be redecorated. You alone get to chose how to decorate this room. How will it look? Can you see it now. Feel spacious and fresh?

Take a deep breathe in... and relax into this beautiful space you have created.

Still not sure? Not knowing where to start?

Figure out what you want! What is it important. Once you know what and why you will know HOW.

A journal is great. Make some notes. Take a look a the floor plan by walk through your own mental house. Look at all the angles.

Rise up in your mind and look at the house from above. Move around this house easily and naturally. Make it yours again. Own it!

When feelings come up, explore them by writing them down. Yelling them out. Saying these feelings out loud until the energy softens.

If it is too painful? 

2. Shift perspective. Psychology has ways to look at a painful life experience and still feel safe. At all stages, you must recognize that YOU are in charge.

Here are some tips.

• Look from another persons perspective. Pretend you are your most trusted adviser.
• Change the house to black and white.
• Look at your house as if you're watching a movie.
• Or imagine yourself up on a high mountain looking down on your house.
• Maybe you are inside a plane and flying overhead and take a quick look out the window.
• Maybe there are clouds in the sky and so again the house is harder to see.

Looking through windows into rooms, or separated by distance allows painful experiences to be explored in a safe manner.

• Awareness
  • Ask yourself, what door did I notice opened today?
  • When did it open?
  • What brought activity/ experience opened this old door?
  • What reaction was there?
  • Did it open as a limitation, a label, or something that encouraged me?
  • Or did this door represent freedom and opportunity?
• Curiosity is another helper?
  • When your awareness piques your curiosity, encouraging exploration.

Explore the door: Exploration is another step towards releasing pain.

Look and feel the sensations that come into our body when we become aware of what is truly happening.

We can take moment to explore where and when this door came into existence by looking back in our life and notice when this room was built. How it was constructed. Why it needed a door then. Why we no longer need it.

3. Accept, Forgive and let go...

Does the door really exist? No

It's simply a metaphor to help us understand how we are not coping.

Real or imagined, if it is affecting our physical or mental emotional well being it is as solid as any door we can reach out and touch. Because doors interfere with our mental emotional and physical health.

How?

Negative emotions and stress create tension; resulting in a negative biological action within our bodies. So it's not just a door! High levels of stress or chronic stress can feel as real as a brick that is tied to your leg when your deep at sea. Ever heard someone say; "I feel like I'm drowning".

This is when bad things happen. It needs to be cut lose!

The door is not real, and when your truly ready to accept our situation for what it was, and ready to forgive what happened, then we will feel the release of finally letting someone thing painful go.

Like releasing a red balloon into the sky and watching it float away. The illusion of the door was simply an illusion. The door, like the string attached to the red balloon, held firmly in our grasp. It is not until we open our hand that the balloon is released.

And then we watch in amazement, the balloon effortlessly and easy drifts apart from us. Drifting on the invisible breeze until we can no longer see it.

After all, it never really existed, a thought only has the power we give to it.

You now know that you have the power. You have had the power all along.

So close your eyes and imagine... a life without all these doors. A life of freedom and liberation!

Stay well out there.

My name is Adele Anderson and you can reach me at Fulfillyourdestiny.ca. You can reach me for a free 30 minute consult: Adele@yourdestinycoach.ca